Good habits

How do you create "good" habits?

Changing your behaviour can be very difficult. You've been behaving this way for ages, and often your short-term happiness (read: a shot of dopamine) gets in the way of your long-term happiness.

In my case, eating a bag of candy instead of a cucumber, an evening of Netflix instead of a run, or in terms of communication, "reacting directly with my own story because of my own enthusiasm" instead of asking a follow-up question....
I hope this is recognizable? 😉

James Clear describes in his book Atomic habits some very practical tips to make new habits your own. Habits that will bring you long-term happiness. Like brushing your teeth daily, which significantly increases your chances of having healthy teeth. Or playing the piano for 15 min every day. You may not see the result of your action immediately, but it's there.
And when it comes to skills, e.g., listening, you get a kind of interest-on-interest effect. You get better and better faster (compounding).

Below are 4 principles that work best for me:
1- Make the action small. Make it so small that you almost can't do it. Want stronger leg muscles? Every time you shower, 1 squat. If you want to listen better to others, summarize someone 1 time a day (and check if you're correct) before telling your own story. And then build up slowly.

2- Connect the action to another habit (stacking). Right after you finish another habit, start with your new habit. This way you enforce and automate your new habit. For example, for me, toothpicking after brushing my teeth works very well. This way it became routine and at one point I was doing it unconsciously.

3- Make it hard to fall back into old habits. If I have a bag of winegums in the cupboard, I do make it very difficult for myself. I am then constantly fighting with my reptile brain. Not helpful. In addition, I tell those close to me what my plan (challenge) is and sometimes even someone joins in. I then immediately feel extra commitment to do it.

4- Be gentle with yourself. Okay, things went wrong once, it can happen. Now pick it up again. Otherwise you have both "failed" and you are beating yourself up for not doing it.

and finally:
Do you have an idea or a good habit, that you want to start? Then schedule time in your calendar right now when you will start working on it!

#atomichabits #habits #behaviouralchange